new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
