nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
