Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
