she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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