Umm I'm too high to move.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
