my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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