Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
