Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
her vagine was all disorganized.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
