I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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