Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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