So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
How's work?
Spinning.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
