I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
