They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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