He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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