do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
