I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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