i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize