worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize