If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
