My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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