I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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