Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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