and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize