bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
