I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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