hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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