Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
