Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
