So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
