What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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