So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
