belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just had sex on a roof
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
