Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
