are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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