It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
