no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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