I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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