i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
