Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i believe in u and ur pee
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
