I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
