OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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