My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
