It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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