wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
