Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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