Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
