This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize