Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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