No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
there is glitter all over my balls
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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