Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
this will be a night to untag.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize