the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
