I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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