i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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