I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
