the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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