fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
