Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
