he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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