No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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