I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
