Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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