:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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