erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
