Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
