a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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