is your mom at the bar?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
