I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
